Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Great Expectations.

The other day at work, finally accepting that it was going to be a long day, I gave in and decided to get me some coffee. I usually bring my own coffee and creamer, but that day I was out of luck so I had to get what work offered. Whatever, I thought, I just need something to keep me awake. Trying to find the creamer in the cupboard, I totally missed it. I knew the sugar came in a big container that looks like the Springles container, but wider; and I was expecting the creamer to be in small packets like restaurants do. To my surprise, the creamer was also in a similar container as the sugar.
You may say, so what's your point? Well, this made me ponder… humans make the same mistake when we are looking for a partner. We're looking for someone in particular, but we may miss the right person just because it didn't look like what we were expecting. BIGGEST MISTAKE IN LIFE!

This is a situation I had discussed with a close friend of mine a few years back. He continues to complain how I don't have time to talk to him now that I found my other half; he gets depressed thinking that he may not find the right person any time soon. My advice has been to lower his standards, he's asking for too much and out of his league; not that he's ugly and he can't make it happen, because I've had my lucky strikes, but my logic has been pretty open minded, while he doesn't give a second look to someone that seems interested, for the reason that they don't meet his expectations. We have to be realistic and honest with ourselves; sure we deserve the best, but we have to keep our horizons abroad for anything. The best gifts don’t always come in the best wrapping. Now, he's gotten better luck, and when I ask how his trick looks like, he always starts with "well, he's not really that cute, but… he makes me laugh." I'm glad his perspective is changing, and that he's widening his choices, I'm happy that he's happy. I just wish everyone gave themselves the chance to open up and try something new, get to know someone you usually wouldn't go for. You could be surprised. You could gain a friend. Who knows!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

The Plastics

Photographer: Andrea Cortes 010115
I am going to dare to assume that we all have one person on Facebook that we always have something to say about; it's not that we don’t like this person, but we weren't friends to begin with. We accepted their friend request just because we happened to go to the same high school, or we met through a friend, or at a blank event, and we thought we might as well snoop around (maybe we have acquaintances that I actually care about.)
To my eyes, that's bullying. If not, at least some kind of harassment or intimation, whether this person knows about the comments we make about them, or not. As a grown adults we don't consider bullying as part of our daily lives, but have you ever called a woman 'disgusting' because she happens to be thick or overweight, and she still wears clothing that 'may look better in a skinny person'? How dare she, right? Have you called Justin Bieber, or any other male celebrity in his time, a fag? Yeah, still bullying. No, no excuses; there is no I AM JUST KIDDING.

The main reason why I am writing this entry is because I've caught myself in the act, and I am embarrassed. Here's the story. I started a new job, and as it tends to happen, we want to be accepted; we want to be taken into the circle. Once I start warming up, I believe that I have no trouble blending in and making a spot in the circle. But there is always somebody left behind, somebody that tried to talk to you first  because 'maybe, just maybe' because you are the new person, you might be their only friend. Then, it's like high school all over again. You get into the 'popular' crowd, and leave that person behind, right where they were. They're used to it; no harm done, they just thought that 'maybe this time will be different.' So now I hear the comments others make about certain person, and I put in my two-cents too; that's when I stopped. I tried to convince myself that I was only speaking the truth which in some sense, I am; but there are other ways to do it. I've never claimed to be perfect, at my age, I'm still learning from recent mistakes. And even though I have rectified my behaviour now, I still disapprove having done it, and seeing it happen. So here I am, once again back to this blog telling you how it is, doing my thing, speaking my mind as I admit to my shitty personality, that it is never OK to bully. Bullying doesn't stop at high school graduation; it follows us everywhere. Life gets better because we choose to ignore others and move on, but the mean people are still out there; filing their tongue as sharp as possible ready to bite a piece of anybody. Let's watch the way we talk, and live up to our own expectations, and make sure that our kids will grow up in a bully-free zone. We don't want them to go through what we went through, or even worse, to have them go through the same things we put others through. Do you?

Thursday, January 1, 2015

'Tis The Season That Is Over....

The stress of buying gifts for everyone, the visible competition that seems to be going on behind closed doors of each family; the amount of money spent yearly, and the lack of humility. It just makes me sad.
I come from a poor background, and I'm sure many of you can relate to my struggle growing up and living from paycheck to paycheck. At some point, life seemed to be falling into place, but out of nowhere, every thing came crashing down. My family lost cars, houses, money, jobs; one thing after the other. But we had each other, and we counted on friends and people that gave us hope in humanity and helped us through those tough times. Christmas at home was just another night, and that was when I remembered the traditions happening in Mexico at the same time as other families here in the USA exchanged gifts. Now, these are two entire different cultures, and I understand the fact; it is also a religious event. As catholics, the people in my small town celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by going to church, hosting the posadas, and enjoying of our friends and neighbors; I guess the food and complimentary goody bags are our version of gifts, if you must make an argument, but the goodies tend to remain a constant traditional candy, cookies, nuts, fruit, and the container that you'll put them in.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I miss the traditions in my hometown; we surely stick to them here in the USA, but it is not the same. Someday, I will be able to afford going back, filming, and showing you how big of an event it is.
Then, I opened my eyes, and the reality hit me again: there was no food in our fridge, some times we didn't have heat, but we had electricity and a roof over our heads; we improvised as we went along. The rough times made us stronger, and kept us together. Once things started to look up, we still didn't get presents under our tree because we didn't have a tree either; but we did have food, and I think that was more than enough.
At some point, I made a promise that I'd never fall into such trend of buying gifts and indulging others in this crazy financial cataclysm, and for years, I never bough anything for anyone. Then again, I also had personal rough times during the winter, so I spent the 'holiday season' hating everything and everyone. The past four years though, life has changed. Thank God!
My anxiety and 'ugly days' still linger, but the financial situation has improved. Maybe it has something to do with growing older, moving out on my own, having to put myself out there, and pushing myself to face reality head on. I do buy presents now, for my immediate family only though; I believe we deserve it after years of not having this luxury. I still don't want to get into that over-the-top gifts situation, and I can't afford them anyway, so I get them clothes. These are things that they will surely use, and let's face it, I got really good taste in clothes lol
This year I was also very excited about the whole tree, lights, ornaments, the music, and the company of my family and friends. Especially their company, and the food that comes along with it. As usual, the 24th we spent it at my mom's, we had our favorite dish, we watched a movie, and I took a nap in between. Then, the 25th, for the first time we hosted the dinner, and Mitch cooked delicious meal for his family. We exchanged gifts, we had some awkward silences, and we laughed it off, I drank the whole bottle of wine that my boss gave me, and we cleaned up after a successful night. It was a great holiday season, if I may say so.
While I wait for the day that I can visit my hometown, and share my culture with Mitch in my native land, I will share his culture here, and be grateful that I have come this far. Life is about lessons, and no matter how hard we'd had it, it gets better with time and hard work.