Recently, whether the rumor is true or someone instigating the situation, I have been told of the way certain people talk about me in my absence. Nasty things, I must clarify. These comments attack me personally which should make me upset due to the fact that I don't bring up my personal life into work; and these comments weren't work related. A little background in my work ethic: I don't play games. I've learned from the best and worst managers in this company I work for, and I have great mentors. I know how to handle situations, and when in doubt, I make calls to ask for advice. I apologize when I know I fuck up. I don't believe anyone can come up to me and tell me I did them wrong. Golden rule I live by till this day, is to always cover my ass, and every move I make is documented. I'm easy going with my coworkers; I believe I am a fair manager, and I try to fit everyone's needs, but at the end of the day, I am running a business and I will do anything legal and in my power to get my job done. Nothing personal.
Then, out of nowhere, muthafuckas have the nerve to talk smack behind my back.
My first thought was, You mad, bro?
Now, let's make this clear, I am not here to trash talk anyone. I am a grown man, and I said what I had to say to this person at the moment. As the saying goes, "whatever people think of me is none of my business."
And it is the honest truth. I couldn't care any less, not because 'I don't give a fuck' but because this person has no input or importance in my life. No one has the permission to put me down; I've learned this the hard way. I've said it millions of times since I was fourteen years old, I AM my own worst enemy, and only I can hurt myself the deepest. And let me tell you, those scars don't heal; they're still there, sore to my touch. And they hurt like a bitch on their time. Today, I can look at them, pour some salt, and tough it out. I guess, you can say I grew thick skin. Desperate times call for desperate measures. So yes, I heard these nasty comments while I was eating my delicious frosty -which by the way was chocolate when I asked for vanilla- and my blood flow remained its calm rush. I laughed. I have been called those names in the past, nothing new, and it surprises me that originality has died out.
I think I should be mad. People should be calling me out on my job performance; tell me how horrible of a manager I am; tell me I play favorites; tell me I'm lazy; tell me that I don't know how to do anything. They can't though. They attack my personal life because they know (in Miss Minaj's wise words) "that I'm a motherfucker monster!" I have the position I have because I deserve it; nothing was just handed to me. I worked hard and I made my way up. I can do their job better and faster. I went through a whole process of learning, failing, picking up the pieces, and moving on.
I think I should be mad because I never bring up anyone's personal lives to the job, not because I'd get in legal trouble, but because I don't really care. You come, make tacos, meet my work expectations, and go home; easy, right? It may seems hypocritical, but I don't even care if they're sick; my thoughts are who is going to cover their shift. I don't know about them, but I've gone to work with a running fever, migraines, allergy reactions, colds and flu, right after car accidents, and all because I needed my hours. My check was my only priority. Bottom line is, no matter how good of a worker anyone is, we all are replaceable. These people seemed like never got confronted regarding their poor job performance until I came around, and they didn't think I'd go through with it. They underestimated the 5'4" faggy spic, and it backfired on their ass.
My main concern now is, am I so used to being called names that I'm immune to them? Because if this is the case, I should be concerned about society. Humanity in general, actually. We allow to let little things slide, and shrug it off because 'we don't wanna come off as too sensitive.' I've had this conversation with friends before, and yes, I do take offense when they're not politically correct; and not that I am too sensitive, but because I am not going to stand by and let ignorance walk right past me. Whatever we do and say send messages to our surroundings. The next generation. Our kids. I am guilty of stupid comments, and just because I don't express them publicly doesn't make it any more correct. I am not perfect, but I am strong minded enough to rectify myself. I don't want my kids or nieces/nephews to grow up in a world where they have to grow a thick skin to make it through high school. I don't want your kids to be like you, if you are the one fucking up; so yes, I will lead by example.
That's why I'm here. I have nothing else to say to anyone talking mad about me. I'm sure I've told them what I had to say, and there's probably a good reason why I don't care what they have to gossip about. My message is clear, my friends, DO YOU. And by this, I don't mean the trashy 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. Doing YOU should mean that you are focused on your life, on your present, on moving forward, on presenting yourself in a positive manner and surround with the same type of people. It is about you. That's what I have been doing, and it's worked pretty well, I must say. Maybe this is why I don't care about rumors? I'm too involved with my life to worry about anybody else's.