Sunday, May 26, 2013

Paparazzi

If you know me, you should know that I am a very passionate person. I do the things that I love, and I enjoy doing them; I get lost in doing them, and I talk non-stop about it, and I share my love for such things. Luckily, I have friends that put up with this crazy habit of mine, and it's a blessing. For example, what's equivalent to ninth grade here, in Mexico I wrote a play and with a group of twenty-five people, we performed in front of the whole school -and that was only the beginning to many more shows that I put on, eventually to perform even at the Independence Day festival.

Here in the USA has been a little bit more challenging to explore my creativity and interests due to the language barrier, but it has not stopped me though. I have filmed two series of my project "TwentySomething" and I keep working on the documentary of Mitch and I living together. I also love writing about LGBTQ people, and I keep a website where I share those stories; and this blog that helps me organize my thoughts. I used to keep a journal, but it just became monotonous. I guess life becomes that way when we believe there  is no more to it. However, today I say NO MORE!

I cannot allow myself to live in the WHAT-IF world anymore. I cannot do this to myself. I don't write stories about what I could have done; it is time to do it and live it and share it with you. Or write it on this blog just to get it off my chest, and maybe someone else will read it and share the same liking. Who knows!

So this is my own personal vendetta,  I wonder if I used this word in the correct sentence and meaning.
I will do what my old self will come up with excuses to not do.


Recently, an example of the promise above mentioned, I attended a concert of this artist that was discovered on American Idol; I kind of had the feeling that not many people would show up, and when I got to the venue, the parking lot was pretty much empty. I am shy. I get embarrassed easily. Walking into a place where the crowd consists of possibly ten tables only, it would had made me go back in my shell and turn around. But I stayed. 
05/18/13
I had followed Josiah Leming for the longest time, and now that I was so close to meet him in person, I could not let this opportunity pass; and I am so glad I went against my fear. The fact that there wasn't a big crowd it made it more personal, and easier to talk to him after the performance which by the way was amazing. 

Where am I going with this, you may ask? Well, as many of you may know by now, I love writing, and I set a list of goals to accomplish by the end of the year. One of these things I wrote down was to support local talent and businesses, so here is my plan: I will attend as many gigs/places/art shows as my job and bank account allow me to, and I will keep a blog to promote them. I know it's not a lot, but with the help of the media and yours, I know we can put Nebraska in an even better place. I love this state. I love this city. And I think we can make it greater. So you send me invites and names of places that I should check out and tell everyone about; this will be the only way to spread the word, from mouth to mouth, and helping one another. We're all doing what we love, and if my writing or vlogging helps others expand their horizons, so be it. You're with me?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Stripped



"Sorry you can't define me
Sorry I break the mold
Sorry that I speak my mind
Sorry don't do what I'm told
Sorry if I don't fake it
Sorry I come too real
I will never hide what I really feel. 
No way.
So here it is
No hype, no glass, no pretense.
Just me..."


It may sound over dramatic, very High-School like, but the lines above, from my favorite performer Miss Christina Aguilera, speak to me; they held a deep meaning in my life when I was a very young (and very gay) antsy teenager. And to this moment, I can still say that they hold truth, and feelings.
Of course, I am older now and I know when to speak my mind, and when to bite my tongue and swallow that pride; ain't nobody got time for that! I am an adult, I have better things to do than to hold grudges or argue over little things with irrational people. I am who I am for the mistakes I made, I learned from them, and I moved on. I also grew from my accomplishments because they gave me the certainty that I am capable of doing what I put effort into; I've witnessed firsthand how hard-work pays off. And, obviously, my foundation, my family. I've told you many times the struggles we went through so I am not going to make this a sob story; however, I do find it important to underline the fact that they helped build my persona. 

Today, I don't say (and I don't find the need to do so) that I AM REAL or that I AM NOT FAKE. That would be something very childish, and embarrassing to say, at my age. God forbid I ever let those words come out of my mouth! I don't owe any explanation to anybody. I do what I do, what I'm expected to do (at work, at home, personal and professional) and go on with my life. I am not a kid, and the years have given enough experience and common sense to make it out alive. I may not be academically equipped, but I think of myself as a very well educated man. Of course I have flaws, and my closest friends may point it out, and my boyfriend does it all the time, but I never claimed to be perfect; I do try my best to work on those and improve myself. I cannot allow myself to make the same mistake twice, not in this century, not at the rate that this world is evolving. Not when I'm a narcissistic bitch ha! 
-every now and then I catch myself falling back into old habits, but I leap back into my shell and start all over. Every day is a different day, renew yourself! Let's not be the same conformist that this society is trying to make us. Let's say NO. As I said previously, I am working on my education, and it's been quite a long journey, but I haven't given up just yet. There is always a new bright day to begin, or so I see it.